| i actually feel like i'm being phased out right now and i dont know what to do
and maybe i'm just being paranoid and everything is fine
but i have no reason to think that
ive just been getting that feeling lately
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| amanda, on break ups:
elviejo00: so i dunno what hes feelin
Lady Foxy1123: how long was he goin out with her
elviejo00: 5-6 months ish
Lady Foxy1123: okay so imagine you're on drugs for like 5-6months
Lady Foxy1123: and you feel FANTASTIC
Lady Foxy1123: i mean theres of course a few bad nights, bad trips, etc
Lady Foxy1123: and then all of a sudden, there are no more drugs
Lady Foxy1123: NO MORE DRUGS
Lady Foxy1123: its the WORST crash EVER
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| " kind of dread weekends now. like, the planning, knowing who to chill
with, where to go...the planning is like..arrrrrrgh."
-dec 6th 04
yeah. its funny when i look back at old entries and i'm like, hey,
thats exactly how i feel now. weekends are so bleh. last night we just
stood on the street. its the first time i remember wanting to go home
before curfew. i really hope the whole weekend won't be like that.
maybe i should just do homework. i really need an activity that makes
me happy. i think i want to go running. i know i hate running, but im
craving it. i also really want an ipod nano. THEYRE SO CUTE. holy shit.
nathaneal showed me his in history last week....fuckin cutest thing
ever. and then i could run with it. and now i'm going to go eat because
i'm bored and hungry. and you cant run on an empty stomach
wait wait i just thought of more stuff to say
my friends are weird lately. like the people that i'm close to. ive
been getting close to. or the people i talk to...i mean really talk to.
adam coolidge. i love that boy. ive never met him, its sams friend from
her trip and we just talk online all the time. which is really wierd,
but fine. i for some reason felt incredibly comfortable telling him
stuff. and i talk to cailey a lot now. its wierd cuz ive known her for
like five years and we've always been sorta friends but now its
different. haha im such a dork i dont know what im saying.
i really miss the old people though.
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| i dont deserve this
i deserve better
i wish i didnt care
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| i am so motherfucking stupid
i hate boys
and i hate feeling like this
i'm so tired of having my heart broken or stomped on or played with
i dont even know what i want right now
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